The Douchebag Summit

Okay, I guess our little blog made an impact on dinar sales and put a hurt on the pumpers and dealers so a few of them contacted me and asked if we could all meet and talk this dinar thing over like adults?  I said "sure", and then contacted my buddies Ace and Bruno who work weekends as bouncers at the topless joint down the street.  I told them I needed them to have my back when I meet with these douchebags who might very well have it in for me.  After getting fitted for a wire and obtaining a conceal and carry permit Ace, Bruno, and I headed off to Toledo, Ohio to have a short encounter with these clowns.  It was a lively couple of hours.  Intel was shared, viewpoints expressed, a few insults were exchanged, but fortunately no assaults or threats of bodily harm.  Here's an excerpt from the summit.

Frank Villa: "Well Aloha there brother!  God bless you!  You know the Lord Jesus ...."
Checkmate: "Oh can it, Frank!!!  Let's get down to business!  You're making things difficult for us, Sam!"
Me: "Well, that's sort of the idea.  You guys are douchebags."
Checkmate: "That may be true, but we're just trying to make a buck here.  No real harm in that."
Enorrste: "Vodka anyone?"
Rudy Coenen: "None for me, thanks.  Can't drink alcohol."
Adam Montana: "I'm gonna sue you, Sam!  You said my Belize plan is a scam!"
Me: "Adam how are you gonna sue me without revealing your true identity?"
Adam Montana: "Well I've got the best attorneys money can buy, and they tell me I can!"
TerryK: "Hey everybody, they just RV'd in Canada!"
Brad Huebner: "Shut up, Terrence!  Sam, why did you have to publish that story about the IRS raid on the BH Group?"
Me: "Well Brad it's what I do.  I tell the dinar community what you douchebags are up to so they can make an informed decision about who they want to do business with."
Rudy Coenen: "Well now I have people asking for a refund on their hedge funds."
Me: "Good.  You shouldn't have been taking that money in the first place."
Gankans: "I'm hungry.  Anybody wanna order a pizza?"
Okie: "I'll order it.  I've got great contacts in the pizza bidness."
Tony TNT: "Sam that YouTube video of me showing people how to bullshit their way to successful network marketing wasn't meant to be seen by the dinar crowd."
Me: "Well too bad, Tony.  You put yourself out there with all your BS intel so I thought people should know what you were up to."
Gankans: "Pepperoni, olives ...."
Adam Montana: "So Sam, are you going to take that stuff about me off your blog?"
Me: "Hadn't planned on it Adam.  In fact, I'm looking for more."
Gankans: "No anchovies!"
Enorrste: "Well I certainly hope you're not going to tell everybody about my past.  I mean I would hate to have people learn about my exploits in the congo and my years working undercover for the CIA in eastern Europe to help bring down the Iron Curtain ..."
Me: "Enorrste you never worked for the ..."
Okie: "Okay folks listen up!  I just got off the phone and the pizza is done!  It'll show up at any time now.  The rate is $17.  Thank you Jesus!"
Frank Villa: "Then Shabibi said to Maliki ..."
SteveI: "Blessings on you Okie.  Blessings on us all."
Checkmate: "You're really getting on my nerves, Steve."
SteveI: "Burn in hell, Check!  You and Tony can just burn in hell!!!"
Breitling: "So the pizza's coming?  Great!  While we wait let's accumulate."
Rudy Coenen: "Accumulate what?"
Breitling: "I don't know.  I just like to say that."
Roger Dorman: "Anybody wanna buy a safe?"
Sonny1: "I've had it!  I'm outta here.  You idiots aren't worth my time!"

As you can see we got about as much resolved as the Iraqis do in a typical meeting of parliament.  But as least we're talking, and that's important.  Hopefully the next summit will be a little more productive.  Ace, Bruno, and I are looking forward to meeting with all of these guys again, provided they're not in prison.  ;-)